No one really tells you the boundaries on blogging and what to and not to share. I debated many times whether or not to share this sooner or even share at all.
Let's rewind to last October. I went in for an X-ray due to having pleurisy. It always takes you by surprise when you go in for one thing and find out something else. I shrugged it off and didn't even think about it much until about 2 weeks ago when I went in for an ear infection and then found out from my Doctor that I needed an MRI within the next two weeks. Again, you go in for one thing, and realize you have to tend to another. I had to be off of a certain medication to do the test so that is why it was "overlooked" for the past 6 months. My Doctor expressed concern and told me it had to be checked right away.
Still not even knowing too much about it I decided to finally google it.. Liver Adenoma. After realizing what I had, I began to feel so flustered, nauseated, sick to my stomach, and weak. Webmd had no information on it and neither did mayo clinic. All I could read was hard core facts and stories from others who had their tumor removed surgically. As I read the stories and facts I just felt numb and disconnected. I immediately texted Joel to get his med school expertise, and he calmed me down.
The good thing, is that I already know that it is benign. What the MRI will tell me is the size, whether it's pressing on any other organs, if it is a threat to my body, and whether it needs to be removed surgically.
The MRI... Was very uncomfortable. The nurse struggled with finding my veins because they were so tiny due to the fact that I was dry as bone since I couldn't have water since the night before. She stuck me many times and I've honestly never had one hurt this bad. I nearly passed out (like last time), but thankfully Joel was there to keep my head clear of those thoughts. The nurse fanned me and I was fine, thank God. I then was submerged into the machine where I felt like I was in a coffin. After holding my breath, injecting dye, holding my breath, breathing normal, holding my breath again... 35 minutes and it was finally over. The dye burned, holding my breath made me feel claustrophobic, and the IV was uncomfortable.
This all was not too bad in reality, just very uncomfortable and nerve wracking that left me in exhaustion. So now I just wait and try to move on with my life hoping for the best. I am trying not to think about it, but you know it's hard to move on when something like this is hanging over your head. So, instead, I am going to hope rather than to despair. I can't ignore that I am scared, but I refuse to let it get inside my head and take away any happiness.
If you made it to this point, thank you for reading. Thank you to the other bloggers who gave me strength to write this, you all are so wonderful!